Talk with Poppy

A little while ago I found out that my maternal uncle passed. It was an almost deafening experience for my mother side of the family. However it was a experience that brought the family together one last time.

My father is a bit perceptive and he noticed something about my grandfather who we affectionately call Poppie. The kind of things he saw as similar to what I saw or felt the days before my fraternal grandfather passed in 2010.

So I decided to give him a call and talk to him.  We discussed what he was doing and how he was feeling. I told me he was a little sick (pneumonia) and he is feeling better now. Unfortunately everyone else beyond him was sick.

We talked about my daughter and he sounded so pleased to hear that I had a child. Oddly enough the sound of his voice instantly reminded me of my mother. All of the embedded hostility died.
I just wanted to be around him for a moment just to talk with him about what his life was like. It was sweet conversation but painful.

As I reflect on it now my heart is a bit frustrated but somewhat at peace about where he is and where I am in relationship to him. In the grand scheme of things the past is the past and we cant do anything about it.

Worship

Just want to worship.

Today I had the blessing of listening to few people go up in worship during a practice. The funniest thing about being praise and worship leader. How much time you spending helping people worship and how little time we actually worship. We are other worldly and this worldly focused at the same time.

My job depends upon your ability to see what is being showed you. To worship with reckless abandon is the point and the road block to that is self. So myself interacts with yourself so we can get ourselves out of the way. An ordeal that would be alot easier if our minds are consistently on Jesus and his ways and his goodness.

I just want to worship.

To bow at His feet and to her the love in his voice as I call out his name.
To lift my hands, these same hands reviled, now I lift, in surrender to greater.
To lift my voice, in pure worship and unbridled passion, declaring the glory of the Lord.
To be changed by my worship, not because I gave but because of who I gave it to.

I just want to worship.

Worship the fatigue away.
Worship the pain away.
Worship until I am not longer conscious
No longer Conscious of my sin.
Only Conscious of His mercy and his love
Worship until the only thing that matter is at the forefront of my being

I just want to worship

Because you are good.
Because you are mighty
Because you are holy.
Because you are God
Because you are worthy.

I just want to worship.

Because its the only place where home is truly.
Where I closest to who I am.
Because its all that matters.
Where mattering is conversation.
Because it where my spirit is lifted.
When lifting is the action.

I just want to worship.