Feeling a Little Lit

Time has been kind of flying by. Its March now and my birthday is in 8 days, my anniversary with my wife of 2 years is in less than 3 months and in less then then 2 months Ill be having my first child.
WOO!

There is so much going on. The wife parents are going through my parents are trying to get stuff up and running. It seems like everyone is try to get it together. The thing that makes me a little lit is when people try to direct your life the way they want you to go.

The only person that holds all the cards is me and my wife. I wasn't the kind of man that left or leaves my responsibility to others. I have never been that kind of man that passes off what I need to do to someone else because I can handle it. If anything I was the person who hated to give up when I should have been given up.

I was told along time ago. There is no honor in being blamed for something you did not do. I was told that in relation of trying to take blame for something that was not mine so I could feel bad about how I performed. I am perfectionist's perfectionist.

But I guess I am only a little lit because I knew this day would come. I was hoping that the people near me and in my life would be wise enough to tread lightly when it comes to matter like that but apparently not.

My wife has turned over a new leaf and life situation has cause her to think differently about her biological parents. I think for the first time she sees them as people and not as her parents. We spent sometime talking about how we want Robyn to view us and how we want her to be.

I used a quote from Gandhi but I adapted a little. " We have be what we want her to do." Little did I know that would translate into something immediate and huge. I spoke highly. " We want our daughter to be reconciling, we have got be forgiving and giving of a second change." I will admit that the challenge that was posed to me made me kind of swallow my words. "I had to add but I am not willing to sacrifice my marriage, child or money to do so....."

But this goes back to the understanding that lines that are drawn are there for a reason. Its not my responsibility to erase them and hope the individuals within close contact to me don't do something that cross what used to be there. And then be magically offended like we were suppose to know that line was there.

As reflect I realize that redemption is all in process. If I or my wife is going to participate in this we will have to be on the same page. Its just a little frustrating the things that you encounter during this process. But alas I wish nothing more than this process.