The Story of Samson

At night I lay facing the back of my pregnant wife and I find myself emotional. More emotional than usual. Perhaps its the fact she is carrying my baby and she hasn't been feeling well for the last few days. But if I stop playing I am feeling emotional because I am amazed that my wife is still by my side even after the things I have done.

I lean forward and kiss her shoulder. While pressing my lips gently on her skin the whiff of her body fragrance embraces my nose and sends me on a trip only inspired by the best aphrodisiacs. Finally my eyes began to get heavy after a long night of nothing.

As I drift away the stage is set. I am in a place familiar to me we people I kind of know. One woman who is not my wife is in my sights but I am not interested but I am. You know that place where you hungry and you want a burger but when you get you are not as excited about it.

Unbeknownst to me I am trying to entice a woman who belongs to some else. I find myself flirting but only stepping back at the same time. Saying and doing things that reflect that I am not really committed to concept of stepping out on my wife.

The moment comes where I am faced by a huge man, who seemly can do me harm but doesn't. He questions me and pushes me and pushes me.

" What makes you think its ok to come after her like that?"
"You really want her for real?" "Aint you married?" " You want to come this way bruh, knowing neither of you don't want each other?" "What do you really want dude?"

I dont really think its ok. I dont really want her I just want.... Yes I love my wife but.....She was into me as much as I think I was into her....

I WANT MY WIFE but... She is hurting and I don't want to take from and already took so much.

In this moment the stage changed and it was just me and my wife in bed again.

The words rung in my head like a loud bell. I want my wife but I dont want to take it from her because she is hurting. A soft echo changed the order. I want my wife but she is hurting. I dont want my wife to hurt. I want my wife. I just want my wife.....

My heart began to tremble because I didnt understand was looking at.

My eyes open and I hear the lord say.

" You are like Samson you should read his story!"


I ready myself for the day ahead and I get to work with enough time to be 6mins late.
While hearing my trainer review information I read twice before he went over it. My eyes follow over the story of Samson. There is one word describes the story...disjointed.

There was no flow to the story it was point, point, point and end. There was moments where the Lord with Samson and it was evident. But there is something the way Samson went about what he was supposed to do that didnt sit with me and neither did it sit the ones around him.

The lord spake

Samson was anointed by me his whole life but he lived his whole life without consulting except when he was ready to avenge his own pursuits. Samson is an example of a time where I dont need to control people to have my will be done but to demonstrate the kind of life man can have without me. Great exploits but no relationship.

You , like him, are destined to do great things but what I want for you is what I wanted for Samson. I want you to walk in my power and have a relationship with me. I want you to walk with Samsons Might but Jesus relationship.

Dont be like Samson and do it in your own strength, when you do you are doing it without me with you.

Prayer

Deep in my heart is a cry for more of you. A cry to be like you and live a life pleasing in your sight. Put away from me the false way. Lead me by your spirit. In whatever I do let me not forget how good you are to me, how much you mean about how much you are to me. I am confident of this thing that it is possible for me to live my life with out but that is the last thing I want. So come and dominate my mind and heart that all I think about is you.

Take me away from vanity and pride. Humble me even as I humble myself before you. I dont want to live with you. I dont want to know to exist without you in my life. Please keep me. Please heal me. Please fill me full of you. Please deliver me from the lust of my own flesh.

I commit myself to you.

The In-Law Game

I might just be letting this get to me a little more than I should but I am so peeved right now.
I am so confused about how this in law thing works. The kind of do what they want and then call it help. I asked this man for 500 dollars to buy a bed that me and Rae need. He gawked at the thought of it and then in the next breathe this man spend nearly 600 dollars on a bed set and another few hundred dollars on other item related to the baby,

Don't get me wrong I am grateful, but I am irritated. How in the world do you expect me to believe that you are interested in helping me when I tell you what I need help with and then you decide to do something else and call it help. My guess is fairly simple at this point he is trying to setup his kingdom for the way he wants it to be.

But my sensitive side gives me a different reality. In his mind he has second chance with Robyn and I think the reality is some of that I cant do anything about but at the same time some of it I can. I wont stop anyone from helping us but I certainly don't want your help by any means.

I am just a little disgusted and confused by how this is going.

Lord,

I am going to need you to touch me. Touch my mind because I am not liking how it looks right now. Help me see who I am in the situation and help do things that reflect your love to Pa and Ma in this difficult time. I'm asking that you teach me how to be your man, not just a man, a good man, Ravens Man or man my father is pleased with. Teach me how you want me to be. Tell me who I am.

I trust you with this.

"The next three days no talking about this or to this. Watch and Pray is your assignment. Leave your assumptions at the door and enter into the spirit on the occasion of this interference. Your energy is in the wrong place your are investing in the wrong things. Turn your eyes to me and let me show you who you are."

The Time of Free Religion is Gone