CrossRoads Yet Again

Much has occurred since I last thought about what is happening in my life.

My wife is pregnant with my second child. My daughter will be two next month. I was recently hired into Lincoln Electric Company. I was appoint Elder in COGIC and a have charge over three portion of the a ministry I am current serving ( Worship Leader, Sunday School Teach and Trustee).

The hugest portion of this takes a toll on me on Sunday and Monday. The balance of all of these responsibilities sometimes makes it hard to think about myself in positive light. Somewhere within in all of this I still feel like I could do more and do better with what I have been entrusted with.

That being said....I have found that I am in need of shift in my world. This happened Friday.

I made the decision that I was not going to worry about anything. That I was not going to put myself in a position to have to worry about anything.

Get to work early, work hard and honest.

Get home pay attention to the wife and daughter help out around the house.

Pray regularly about Sunday and listen to music.

Get some alone time with God and get in the word.

Take care of myself.

Just not making a fuss about it and I found that as I adopted that no worry approach I enjoyed my day and I had more energy to accomplish what I wanted.

This leaning with the newer more rejuvenated desire to buy a house and get a new car has created sort of a perfect storm where I am kind of in lassie fare mood. This is not say I am releasing the responsibility and saying kay sira sira, what will be, will be. But more like. My Heavenly father is good provider....I really have no need to worry.

Still further I posted some speculative goals on my wall for the year. Its mid year and I got to only two so far but I can sense that worrying and folding coming over me when I look at it again. I know it needs a revision because I have achieved some goal but I kind of feel like I am trying to plan my life.

And to be flatout honest...I dont want to do that any more. I am so tired of trying to plan each moment. I want the passions to carry me and where they wont carry me discipline leads me.

I guess what I am saying is I want to do the word. I want to take no thought but I want to focus on the will of God in the areas of my life I have been entrusted with.

Prayer

Lord, Here I am again. I am here to repent. In folly I have tried to manipulate your hand into the things that I wished to do, without even stopping to think about the things you have for me. I dont vow any longer....I yield to you. Today I am ripping up everything that I have set as my goal, my agenda and my ideas for the life you have given me. And the supernatural request I am asking for on today is that you guide me, as your promised to the path that glorifies your name. Help me not to get lost what I think is important and to trust you to care for me like you always have. My heart is in my hand, my family, my dreams and passions. Lord they are yours and I am asking that you do what you will. Because you can do more with a broken dream and no resources then I can with a well plotted and timed out plan and decent resources. I surrender and I am asking you to help me surrender even the more. Lead me in the path of righteousness for you names sake.

I. TRUST. YOU.