Im dying of thirst - Robert Glasper

My Prayer

After listening to this song once. I was immediately stayed because of the instrumentation. It's very similar to how I play and as well as how I like to conceptualize music.

But the part that got me was the little boy or girl at the end expressing her/ himself.

What is said among other thing is " I really enjoy we that we are all different and special people, I enjoy the fact that I am brown. I enjoy being brown. I think about being brown especially when my skin rips, then I am really thinking about brown. I am thinking about what color I am but I have to be myself. You have to be happy of who you are."

The basic and most fundamental of human needs to be accepted among others like them. When I anlazye what the young child was saying was that there was a concept of being disgusted of who they are. They stood on the other side. But she even gave a statement that was more complex than it seemed.

"When my skin rips, I am thinking about what color I am, but I have to be myself."

There is a dangerous precedent set when our children are conscious what they are before the care about who they are. I child should not have to care about what color they are when they hurt. They should speak to the hurt.

This speaks to the condition of this world. That the message that if you black you have an altogether different experience you have to prepare for. Thank God the young child ended where we all need to end.

"You have to be happy of who you are."

For this cause I bow my knee to the Father

Lord,

My heart is broken for the state of this world. Sin has ravaged the black community until our children are forced to consider realities that they should not have to consider. So much broken with us. How we look at ourselves, how to look at each other and how to look at you. Please lord heal the hurt in the peoples heart. Please send a healing to there soul the glorious light of your gospel. Send laborers in the fields of the one who we lost in 2014 and 2015. Convict the hearts of man who have become corrupted and have looked on the African american community with disdain rather with heart to understand. Influence the leaders in high places to affect policy to give us a chance to defend ourselves and to capture and correct those individuals who have no respect for whom they serve. Most of all Lord. Teach us how to lean on you again. How to know who we are. Give us a definition of ourselves we can be proud of. Lord I pray you protect my child as she enters this torrid generation.

I surrender myself as a willing work to speak to good of this community. Speak words that lift my fellow man up, that esteems him on the level worthy of your sons death. I trust you to guide me in the way to serve this community.

Lord let your will be done today, In Jesus name Amen.

Would you rather?

Marital Bliss

This Valentines day I have a blissful yet painful conversation with my wife about her place in this world. Not only her place in this world but her place in my life. I can see as clear as day where she belongs and what talents and gifts God has given her and even how she can be helpful to me in where I am going with my life.

After but I found myself conflicted and somewhat angry because I could not find the words to tell her that I needed her where she was.

Would you rather be the one in the lights with all the fame and glory and have no support.

There is very lonely element that I felt when having that conversation. Because it essentially meant she was not happy about what she did. And perhaps her lack of happiness stems from her lack of understanding about her place.

I guess it is because I am the leader of my home that I can see clearly where she fits. I know that her natural disposition ( being affected by things deeply) gives her a keen ability to be able to intercede in a way that a person who was not in touch could not see it.

I kind of prophesied to her and said " One day you are going to be up in the morning going through your day and the holy spirit is going to tap you on your shoulder and have pray for your daughter. He is going to show it to you fixed in the spirit. And you daughter is going to call you and say to you. Mom, there is some stuff going on. You response is going to be I already knew. And you are going to remember this conversation."

What stands out to me about this is that I believe in Raven and God so much that I am actually praying for that day. I will it admit it is kind of difficult to be around someone who is that sensitive but I know when that women ever understand the gravity of what it means to be able to see stress... not just stress physical but the spirit of it hanging over there head, its invaluable. I want that person to pray for me. And I am lucky because I have woman like that.

I guess moving forward I want to know that it is safe to encourage that with out creating a dependence on me.

Season of Preparations

Areas of Development

As a minister I have become laser focused on what God wants for me. I have noticed that there are three main areas that I must gain some level of understand or clarity on before I can be great in God. 

Proclivity

I hate this word but it is in essence the things takes all of us down. It is the Bathsheba to our King David. The woman on Samson's head. Its the defining issue that can and if it goes on check will take down your ministry and complete forever alter the way ministry is being done. If we look a David we can see that more clearly than anyone. David was guilty of many things and because of the way he went about handling the darkness in his life the sword never departed his family.

The minister has got to get a handle on his defining issue and find a measure of victory and accountability so he can go on and do great things for God. Perhaps my greatest fear is to be shamed by weakness as a human. There is something triumphant that happens for the enemy when he is able to take down great leader with a filthy sin.

Business

I named this part business because it varies based upon the set of responsibility that a given minister will have. For instance, If a young man is married he is going to have a different set of challenges to handle than a young man who is not married but has kids. Even more, he would be different if the man holds a full time job.

God pulls no punches with us, The expectation is that we are submissive to God in all things. In that we are excellent in all things. T.D. Jakes preached a message named " A two fisted fight"

Reflection on God's Lesson

What's the Lesson

While I was busy emoting about where I was and what I experiencing the lord had impressed on my heart that I would need eventually forgive my wife. To be honest, I didnt want to hear. What I wanted to hear is that it was wrong to be neglected by a woman who I pledged my life to in the sight of God.

But its kind of funny how God is. I am holding her to the commitment and he is holding me to the commitment not only the one I made to Him but to her as well. I had always said to her when I cannot understand her words or actions ,in this case, I would view her heart.

God did not let me fall this time he made me pay up on that vow.

Gods Voice

Your need to be appeased as her partner and husband has to become subject to the precedent for you to Jesus to your wife. You cannot be so in need of support and love that you forget who you are to your wife and your family. Your are Christ to them and because Christ is my last name you have got to represent me, and rep me well.

Well!

After I received like I immediately refrain to the reality that I mentioned earlier. Very simple response and very simple standard but it requires the biting of a bullet if you will. But with that I am beginning to realize something about myself. I am very emotionally charged and I often ebb and flow from moment into the emotions of the moment to then come out to a logical and rational response.

Part of me doesn't want to be like that to some how bypass it but I know better.

I just intend on learning how to be the husband God wants me to be. 

Living on the Other Side.

Isn't such a wonder how the temptation to live on a low level is always present and to reach the higher road requires us to press harder into God. Is the nature of sin in us that makes us this way. We have always got to have a mind to press into God and to do life his way. Narrow is the gate the bible says....the entrance is rough but the path is easier.

We need not look too much further than God to see why this needs to be different. I am currently reading a book named He Chose the Nails " What our God did to win your heart by Max Lucado.

He ends a chapter the way I am going to end this blog.

We don't get to choose our race, sex, size of our nose or our family but we do have the opportunity to choose what happens with our eternity. 

Would we rather  have it the other way, Would we like to have full control over how and where we are born only to have choice of where we will spend eternity stripped from us.

I'd like to add to the thought he laid out. While can clearly say we rather be able to choose our eternity over our now. That choice lays upon us a great responsibility to live everyday with our eternity in mind. Living to please the savior, living to live again.

So I have made the choice not live on this side. I am going to live where my life is. My life is hid with Christ in God.

Marriage - Making the Choice

Conflict

Ever been mad and didn't want to be. Ever wanted to say something, but you know that something that you would say would mean the difference of your emotional climate for days on in. Welcome to marriage.

I know I have to forgive but...

When I read that it comes out so ugly. There are series of known factors when ever I encounter a weakness or an inability in my partner. I know universally that my responsibility to my wife is to be Christ, to mirror his love and adoration for her. I know that I am given a similar response when I choose myself or my sin over God. I know that if I don't forgive, I am guilty of the sin I am choosing not forgive. I know but.... This is hard and it hurts. It easy to speak the platitude but to live it quite the task.

My friend Francis Schaeffer informed me long ago.

" The more logical the presupposition the more difficult it is to live it out and conversely the more illogical the  presupposition easier it is to live it out."

How I interpret what he means is that when ever you hear people say " Just forgive" Its usual very hard to do. On the other hand when you hear people go through these long drawn out processes they are usually making stuff up that doesn't work.

My struggle is not encapsulated in the what is the nevertheless moment for me.

How then shall I live?

Given all of these factors and given nature of my relationship with God, I have to proceed in a manor that not only reflect how God would treat me and yet still handle the pain. But even as I listen closely to one of my favorite songs I am wooed to go in the direction of sympathy.

What I don't want to miss is the moment to be there for her when she needs me the most. 

Prayer

Lord, I come to you now with my marriage in mind. My heart is slowly feeling the pain and sense of lonesomeness that my wife might be feeling as result of what is going on in her world. Forgive me for being so insensitive to the needs of my wife. While I feel anger about her choice over me, I am overwhelmed with the emotion of what it could be like to see where you come from crumble underneath you. You have been my source for day one. Help me remember that when my wife aint got me, you got me. Help me honor you in these moments. Help me be your man, controlled by your will. I am looking you to lead me by your spirit.

Lord I trust you to handle me and this situation in a way that glorifies you. 

NEVERTHELESS not my will but yours be done.

In your might name, Amen.

Lessons In the Moment

I would like to fancy myself a good person. Most of the time looking for ways to help and support others in hard times with a kind word or good joke to make a person laugh. But these effort fail to sustain in real change in the lives of the people we come in contact with.

The other morning while on my way to work I encountered and older gentleman walking down the street with no socks or shoes on. His pants were far too small for his body, his jacket was thin and he happened to be wrapped in pink hat and scarf to chase out the cold. All to ineffective because 30% of your body heat leaves through your feet.

My heart dropped into my stomach as I said to myself " Its cold out here man. I don't want you out here like that." I made up in my mind that I would make sure he would have a pair of socks and shoes the following day.

Eagerly the next morning I rose to get out there hoping I might see him again. I was actually looking for a homeless man. I walked to my bus stop and waited while until I got the feeling I knew he wasn't coming. Urgently I walked down back to the corner where I saw him walk the day before and tapped on the door of neighborhood restaurant.
The woman hesitatingly answered " Yes?"
I said " There was man that walking over here yesterday with no shoes on, do you know him?"
She responded " Yes he is over here often, the policed picked him earlier today because he was walking around naked."
I retorted " Really?"
"Yea, I have given a timberland coat and socks but seems to lose it all the time." She replied.
" Well I have some shoes and socks for him when you see him again." I said discouraged within myself.
" I'll keep it for him, he walks through here often, you can come back and check if you like." She responded.

Immediately after handing of the shoes and good pair of socks I had for him my mind went back to my resolves. The lord caught hold of my spirit and took me to the moment I said I would help him. God gave me lingo to say to the man and the lingo went.

     I saw you out here yesterday with no socks or shoes on and I wanted to help you, but before I help you do you know Jesus in the pardoning of your sin.You see Jesus was the one who sent me to help you. I can give you socks and shoes which are bound to fall apart at some point but the life God has for you that is indestructible. You have been out here begging for people to pay attention to you, you may have even wonder if people even cared. I am here to tell you I care and God cares. When you finish this life you wont have to beg anymore. People will recognize you and acknowledge you and you will be known of the creator. What a great reward to live a life pan handling and walking the streets not knowing where your next meal is coming from or if this is the day your clothes stop fitting to living in a heaven to be known of a savior who has destined a reality where you will never be cold, hungry or naked.

Then the lord spake
Notice with how intensity you walked with to just help him. This is how I seek out the soul who does not know me. I don't get tired , I continuously seek until the moment is right I send someone who belongs to me to close the deal as it were. I work day and night wooing the souls of this world to come to me. I wait eagerly at the destitute corners of this world with an ever present and watchful eye. You got discouraged when you heard that he has the tendency to lose his clothes but your mind was still made up. And that's what I need out of you because you know the shoes and socks was the way to get to the man to give him what I wanted him to have. I want the same for you. My desire for my children and no more diminished then from the first day I realized that I wanted you in my home and in my world. I did the same for you and I would that you do the same for others.

My heart quakes within me even as I began to think about that reality. Then the scripture came to mind.

Matt 25:31-46
When the Son of man shall come in his glory, and all the holy angels with him, then shall he sit upon the throne of his glory: And before him shall be gathered all nations: and he shall separate them one from another, as a shepherd divideth his sheep from the goats: And he shall set the sheep on his right hand, but the goats on the left. Then shall the King say unto them on his right hand, Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world: For I was an hungered, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in: Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me.

Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungered, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink? When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee? Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee? And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me. Then shall he say also unto them on the left hand, Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels: For I was an hungered, and ye gave me no meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me no drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me not in: naked, and ye clothed me not: sick, and in prison, and ye visited me not.

Then shall they also answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungered, or athirst, or a stranger, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and did not minister unto thee? Then shall he answer them, saying, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye did it not to one of the least of these, ye did it not to me. And these shall go away into everlasting punishment: but the righteous into life eternal.

Why such staunch response to something that seems so easy to over look. But look again friends and family. Doesn't that response coincides with  

Matt 7:7-10

Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.  Or what man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone? Or if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent? 

If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?

Within how God charges us to care for one another to encapsulates how God feels about us. He sent his soon to die for us. He sent Jesus to be sacrifice to save the lives of individuals that he cared about doesn't then make sense for it to offend God when we fight amongst ourselves and not carry and echo of the heart of God towards all of his most prized possessions.

What's the Lesson?

How deep the Father’s love for us,
How vast beyond all measure,
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure.
How great the pain of searing loss -
The Father turns His face away,
As wounds which mar the Chosen One
Bring many sons to glory.

Behold the man upon a cross,
My sin upon His shoulders;
Ashamed, I hear my mocking voice
Call out among the scoffers.
It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished;
His dying breath has brought me life -
I know that it is finished.

I will not boast in anything,
No gifts, no power, no wisdom;
But I will boast in Jesus Christ,
His death and resurrection.
Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer;
But this I know with all my heart -
His wounds have paid my ransom.- 

We ought to live with this in mind. We ought to make everything within our worlds bow to this reality and anything exalts self against it we should set aside.

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Robyn Symone Furr

My love Robyn.

The days have grown sort of cold since we knew you were on your way. Your mother is often in pain and I am often uncomfortable because I don't quite know how to care for her. To be honest I don't know how to care for you. I know I want to.

I know I want to wake up in the morning and listen to your cry. I want to wake up and coming running to your side and care for you. I know I want to hold you in my arms and kiss you on your face. I know I want to purchase a weapon that I have no real intent of using for the purpose of intimidating any man who thinks he is worthy of your love.

I know I want the best you and mommy. I know I want make your life better than I ever had and more connected that I ever was. I know I want to fall deep in love with you and date you and get to know all that God made you to be. I know I want mom and I to be by your side when you go through your darkest days. I know I want to do right by you.

My baby, my sweet, my princess near the side of my queen. I want to see you grow up and conquer all that we never could. My love I adore you already. I cant wait to get to know you

I wonder what you will look like. What it will be to look into your eyes. what it will be to be angry and try to stay angry when I know I cant!

Used to say that I wasn't ready. I am finding that as the days near to your arrival I cant wait.

Come to me soon my sweet