Marriage - Making the Choice

Conflict

Ever been mad and didn't want to be. Ever wanted to say something, but you know that something that you would say would mean the difference of your emotional climate for days on in. Welcome to marriage.

I know I have to forgive but...

When I read that it comes out so ugly. There are series of known factors when ever I encounter a weakness or an inability in my partner. I know universally that my responsibility to my wife is to be Christ, to mirror his love and adoration for her. I know that I am given a similar response when I choose myself or my sin over God. I know that if I don't forgive, I am guilty of the sin I am choosing not forgive. I know but.... This is hard and it hurts. It easy to speak the platitude but to live it quite the task.

My friend Francis Schaeffer informed me long ago.

" The more logical the presupposition the more difficult it is to live it out and conversely the more illogical the  presupposition easier it is to live it out."

How I interpret what he means is that when ever you hear people say " Just forgive" Its usual very hard to do. On the other hand when you hear people go through these long drawn out processes they are usually making stuff up that doesn't work.

My struggle is not encapsulated in the what is the nevertheless moment for me.

How then shall I live?

Given all of these factors and given nature of my relationship with God, I have to proceed in a manor that not only reflect how God would treat me and yet still handle the pain. But even as I listen closely to one of my favorite songs I am wooed to go in the direction of sympathy.

What I don't want to miss is the moment to be there for her when she needs me the most. 

Prayer

Lord, I come to you now with my marriage in mind. My heart is slowly feeling the pain and sense of lonesomeness that my wife might be feeling as result of what is going on in her world. Forgive me for being so insensitive to the needs of my wife. While I feel anger about her choice over me, I am overwhelmed with the emotion of what it could be like to see where you come from crumble underneath you. You have been my source for day one. Help me remember that when my wife aint got me, you got me. Help me honor you in these moments. Help me be your man, controlled by your will. I am looking you to lead me by your spirit.

Lord I trust you to handle me and this situation in a way that glorifies you. 

NEVERTHELESS not my will but yours be done.

In your might name, Amen.