Day 1 of Five Day Fast

Wonderful way to start off a fast. Mired in a battle with the wife for 4 hours. The good thing that came out was the truth.

It came out in a way that I was in no ways happy to hear or be apart of. But I have lived in denial for far too long. There is no reason for us not be talking about how we feel or what's going on with us.

Perhaps the best moment that I had in the confrontation was explaining why I do what I do. All in one moment I understood the magnitude of my commitment to God in marriage with my wife.

Very clearly put " Marriage is a commitment to God lived out with your wife." When laid out in this fashion it puts the onus on everyone involved to do their part. The key to the conversation is that the definition of marriage consistent with the word of God. Because with out a doubt we bring our own set of expectations to the conversation. If we tune into God and allow him to set the priorities for us.

This is rough but I am happy its happening now it gives an opportunity to settle issues before it becomes a bigger problem later on down the line.

I saw something in my wife that I think its worth discussing.
- Lack of independence
- Lack of willingness to communicate needs directly
- Overall satisfaction of marriage

Lord

This is the moment I take over. When I try to fantasize my way through the moment. The purpose of my fasting this week is to invite you into situations that I would not normally bring you into. I need you to take over. Is it right for me to submit to her a question what she wants the marriage to be? Shall I proceed to teach or explore the word on the topic? How should I go about it?

You are as every bit my husband as I am to my wife. How shall I submit to you in this way? I dont want to offend you by thinking I know what the problem. I just know what I am feeling about this experience. To run from it is my desire, but I dont want to run if there is something for me to learn. I acknowledge you are God and I am not. I invite you to take control. I release my will and control over my marriage and place it safely in your hands.

Oh Lord, You are my lord.
I surrender. A sweet surrender.
Guide me. Make me sensitive and tender toward you.
Lead me. My earnest plea...tell me what you want and how you want it. I will make it happen.

Here I stand waiting...