Rough Thoughts

The other day I was on my way home and young lady that I was working with was walking down the street.

I offered her a ride an immediately became convicted. We talked about her walking and what her I did for fun. But I was ever aware of my temptation to challenge the boundaries.

I can't help but think that this may happen more often. Close quarters with my own issues. I spent some time that evening drowning the feeling out with social media and YouTube. But yet still this aching feeling my heart that I made a mistake.

I know I did I let on to my level of attraction to her, but I know how I am. I get hype for the first two three weeks and then it fades as I see who the person is. The feeling is much weirder than I thought would be. And honestly very scary because the thought is I could get away with it.

But I couldn't because I am sloppy so I better not even go down that path. Its the water from a different cistern thing. Of course stolen waters are sweet. But losing the rest of your life over it doesn't make sense at all.

Here this morning I receive a warning about how I should interact with her. Other things I can do if I do offer ride. (Like to mayfield and instead of windermere.). But he reminded me close contact loses the battle.

I recently came across and ad that identified cancer in the woman. And I saw the man cutting his hair and tattoo over his chest to reflect what she looked like in an effort to show solidarity. But I sickening thought came to my mind.

How would I handle myself if I lost my wife to cancer? I'm swallowing my throat. Fear grips my mind with this thought. But it occurs to me that life is precious.

That this that I have is gift. To have wife that loves me and daughter to care for I just want