The Divine Interruption - A Call to Discipleship

The subjective text that we are focusing on for Sunday school came to me in a question on Facebook from one of my new friends.

Does meekness look different for me than it does for women? Can a strong man or woman be meek? 

My answer was.

Depends on how we interpret meekness. We do understand the meekness is a fruit of the spirit but the degree of our understanding will determine how we live it out. Behavior is a reflection of belief.

Meekness by definition is synonymous with the notion of being submissive. The first scripture came to mind was Matt 5:5 blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the earth. Which is a reiteration of Psalms 37:11. 

But then when I got to Mat 11:28-30 I saw something that blew my mind. I hope you see the same thing I saw. After having established what meekness is. Listen to the text from the king james.

28 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.\
29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

Surely the one whom by which the universe was created was not saying he was lowly. He could not mean what he said. Unless we are missing something in the context of scripture. 

This is a classic example of reading something but paying attention to what you are reading. The context of this scripture is saying something specific to how we carry on in our life. We get into the habit of spending a considerable amount of time exercising our mind and will to accomplish sometimes very meaningless tasks. We take on the stresses of making provision for ourselves under the guides of independence and self sufficiency but we have no so learned in Christ. Jesus offers a different level of living in his kingdom.

The message bible reiterates this lifestyle thusly.

 

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”

The phrase that stood out to me that may stand out to you is the UNFORCED RHYTHMS of grace. This notion that there is something that is going on and was going on the whole time while I was overexerting myself to getting much less than what I was putting in. Jesus offers to us in the way of discipleship..not salvation( which in this case is recognizing his presence enough to come) a way to live in which he offers to be a step by step emulator .... Do exactly as I do.

Inferred in the text seems to be this idea that Christ will not only grant us peace and rest but show us how to work within the rest that he has provided. Subject work that I do that produces fatigue on many levels and work that God does that produces rest on those same levels. Then there is an tutoring of sorts that requires a link between us and him.

What is the link? Lets look at the text.

Take my yoke upon you are learn of me....my yoke is easy and burden is light. What manner of work is easier when you do it? Who makes doing something easier with God's guidance? How is does God guide us and still be with us at the same time.

Spiritual Vitality : Achieving Gods plan for sexual health and wellness.

The inception Table Talks has in its roots the idea the conversation can bring about change. I have heard it said "  The content of your conversation determines the content of your relationship." So a built in reslience that I have is to feed into those conversation to bring about total freedom and deliverance and avoid those that lead me down that slippery slope.

Every conversation we will have will have some element of myself involved in it and my expressing what I have learned on my journey with you to influence you to be better and do better for the purpose of gleaning and healing. 

The Struggle: An Objective Look Into My Past

My wife and I have been dealing with some issue in our marriage that are hard to even discuss but must be. This is the area pornography. I was caught in this battle when I was 17 years old and I have been fighting this ugly seductress since then. It has mutilated my sensitivity it has become a vice and has stripped me of my purity that God has intended for me to have. I have made up in my mind that I am going to slay this whorish spirit off of my life and life my children.

I broached the conversation when I made a comment on a picture of a friend of my wife who posted a picture that I thought was to revealing. My wife saw me looking at the picture and said you are staring awful hard...I exclaimed. If you post the picture you want me to look that what the purpose of the picture is ain't. He response soured me to my stomach " Well if you dont want have to deal with it then dont look." I talked about the same thing to the past at the church that you said you couldn't go to because of the same issues. And he said that you should be more focused on why you are there rather than what is there."

This phrase spun me into a whirl of hurt, frustration and confusion which was at first directed towards my wife. As we talked I realized that the Lord was opening the door for my to break the hold of this illicit pleasure once and for all. I begin to spout off some facts I talked about the hypersexualization of our culture, I talked about the lack of modesty in church culture at times, the role of believing women in the life of men in general and then realized while I was yelling I noted that in that moment I had come to terms with how I would win this battle.

MAKE IT AN EVERYBODY FIGHT. The enemy does not fight fair and neither do we.

This conversation led me to constant introspect to look this issue that has me on my face 3 to 4 days out of the week. I began to seek resources to help me win this battle once and for all. "Every Mans Battle" a great book but a trap for me because the imagery is trigger. I found two resources that all but sealed my freedom in Christ over this area that has caused me much pain.

At first when listening an reading both of my sources I found myself saying " I was never told that" but then I had to re evaluate my rearing and spiritual upbringing. I am apart of a department and I am reading a book for a course that I am going to create. " How to study the bible." The first point she makes in that book is that we have to observe what the text says and what happened in the text we are engaging. Both of my sources encourage a honest look at not only how i fell into which was very similar in some cases but not as deep in some other cases but I also had to take into account what my Father had done for me.

This area of spiritual vitality that I was looking to improve in. I had been looking over some tools that my father had planted from his struggle through the same area issue. The eras were different but the fight was the same and the answer was the same as well. The more I listen to these different resources on the topic of sexual wholeness , purity and wellness the more I notice that common argument is no one told me that which I beginning to think that is part of the deception of the enemy. 

- There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it. 1 Corthin 10:13

We believe that God is Creator.

We believe that His Word contains the truth about who, what, how and why we are.

We believe that His Word is authoritative on the subject of our issues.

We believe that is by the indwelling of the Holy Ghost and the quickening in our spirit when read His word that we can be made free and possess the life he intended for us.

We believe that God's written word is the foundation for receiving his rhema word in our hearts.

Either I am going to believe the word or not. I can remember distinct conversations that my father would have with me and my brothers without talking about it but still addressing it at the same time.

1. Can a man take fire into his bosom and not be burned?

2. Its good for a man not to touch a woman.

3. Flee the very appearance of evil.

4. The book of proverbs - especial dealing the pursuit of the right woman.

5. The content of your conversation determines the content of your relationship - you can know what kind of relationship you have by what you discuss.

6. Psalm 51/ Psalms 119.

If there was anything left out it was the accountability piece and the direct address.

The following conversations that i heard from Michael Johnson and Mike Todd used scripture concerning.

- David

- Samson

- Adam and Eve

- Paul (Romans/Philippians)

- Joseph with potiphar 

-The Gospel of John

All of these together reinforce this idea for me.

God has a plan for how he wants us to use his give to sexuality that he planted in each us. He has only desire to bring us to the plan has us functioning wholly and well. Then has the intention to redeem and redefine the whole of our sexual experience through his prism to which we have to willfuly submit if we really want it.

Step One : Painting the Picture

The frame of a picture tell us the boundary of the picture  where it ends and where it is contained. Let say this picture is in a puzzle - The enemies trick is to set the puzzle peices up to pigeon hole you into one corner where he can degrade you. The intertwining of my trouble is that I asked for the release of the feeling but that is not the Lord will. It is almost always the context of what we want and how want it with God. Frank Turek says " Sin is an improper means of getting what we should have." Mike Todd says " Prevision is a taste of what you should have out of the proper context" Mike Johnson said the  bait and the hook is set for the kind of fish that you are."

All of these truth point to the power point that I think MJ made which the devil has no new tricks. The way I say it is " He will only use what you give him." Which is what the scripture says " He who sins is a slave to sin. A slave does not stay in the house. But the son stay forever. Therefore who the son makes free is free indeed." You cannot ignore the obvious notion that pattern play and great majority of issue we have when it comes to this area and in many other is that we have habit that need to be overwritten and accountability so we dont fall back into the same trap.

We have to know ourselves our own triggers, our own desire which should be intimately acquainted with because accord to luke and few places in the new testament that if we intend to come after christ we must FIRST deny ourselves (You can not deny what you wont acknowledge). The principle holds up when it comes to our phones. The phone ringing is the desire which is how God design it to work. Acknowledging the content with denial will stop from engaging into the  issue you are struggling with.

You cannot escape the  call to say NO to the flesh. The bible say " Make no provision for the flesh." You have to say NO " Submit yourselves to God , resist the devil and he will flee from you." The power in the conversation is that there must be tapping into the spirit of God working in you both to will and to do to exercise your will against your flesh and toward your spirit.

Therefore we are buried with him by baptism into death: that like as Christ was raised up from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life.
5 For if we have been planted together in the likeness of his death, we shall be also in the likeness of his resurrection:
6 Knowing this, that our old man is crucified with him, that the body of sin might be destroyed, that henceforth we should not serve sin.
7 For he that is dead is freed from sin.
8 Now if we be dead with Christ, we believe that we shall also live with him:
9 Knowing that Christ being raised from the dead dieth no more; death hath no more dominion over him.
10 For in that he died, he died unto sin once: but in that he liveth, he liveth unto God.
11 Likewise reckon ye also yourselves to be dead indeed unto sin, but alive unto God through Jesus Christ our Lord.
12 Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, that ye should obey it in the lusts thereof.
13 Neither yield ye your members as instruments of unrighteousness unto sin: but yield yourselves unto God, as those that are alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness unto God.
14 For sin shall not have dominion over you: for ye are not under the law, but under grace.

When there is reckoning there is moment at which we are objectivity looking at something estimating where we fit. We are dead indeed to sin but I am alive to God and because I am alive I have somethings that I should do sense that is the case..

Step Two : Walk it out

The starting point that I have always had was the word of God and time with the Lord. I have discovered that reading books and even the bible is not enough when it comes to fighting this ongoing battle. The disciplines of our faith in the form of worship, praise, prayer and doctrine and fellowship will create resiliency in these affected areas. I began using this idea " Prepare for war in the time of peace." When my temptation is not front and center I should be building myself against the storm to come. Jesus even said " Who hear my word and does them I will liken him to a man that dug deep and built his house on rock." The purpose of the house is to protect us from the storm, wind and rain. Where we lack in some cases is that dont take the practical step with intentionality to build for the future but taking advantage of those disciplines.

I have committed to being completely open with my wife about my struggle and it has been the hardest thing to do for the both of us. But when the light is on and we put in the right spot the darkness has to leave. I have an open phone policy that anything I use is not private, I dont have a password on my computer and my wife knows my code to get into my phone.

I havent made a code word yet but we are gettting there.

The Conclusion

As much as I am about to hate what I am about to say. My wife was right....its a fight that I must always be ready to fight regardless of the context church, facebook, ig (which i am going to eventually delete). I gotta keep this guard up if I want to live. Jesus asked the question...Do you want to be well?

WMJI Site _ Update Info

Divisions of Class - The division of the class should follow the division of the associated sources and or the syllabus which can be updated to reflect the nature of the class.

Giving Link - Can be added to the WMJI website with the added understand that the registrant will have have the need to earmark there giving the a tag of ( WMJI - Course Fee) 

-Inquiry ONFJ- Can you identify how we can use the funds for WMJI , looking into getting G suite subscription?

Website Connection - In order to make the WMJI more user friendly we are to get a button or link on the onfj web page that would direct users to the google page for the William Morgan James Institute.

- Inquiry ONFJ- Can you give us a button on the onfj website page? We will send you the link.

Requirement to add to registration - User must sign up with google account or set on up in order to access the class information

Canva Announcements  - Okay ed to use canva to produce announcement on the WMJI localized.

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Standings

1. Get the classroom link to work on web page

2. Create walk through for setting up gmail account and accessing classrooms.

3. Get contact information for ONFJ website manager and Fiancers.

Pre- Convo For Table Talks

Title:

Table Talks: Spiritual Vitality - God's Intent Of Sexual Health and Wellness

Topics

1. The Battle 

- Its Affects on Men and Women / Single and Married

- The Role of Support

 + From / To Woman Perspective

 + From / To Man Perspective

 + From / To Church as  Leader and As Member

Inline within the same position of the book The Fish, The Hook and The Bait the objective of this 30-45 min conversation is not to provide tips and strategies but to share insights for from the past struggles to help inspire and uplift those individuals who are entrenched in that fight.

Our disclaimer for the video is that as Christians we believe that God the creator of the heavens and the earth and mankind alone holds the key for successful relationship because it is his design. So then by default we lean on the scripture the authoritative position on all things pertaining to sexual health and wellness. We also believe that God gave the gift of psychiatry and psychology to man to help deal with elements of man that bible may not direct address. Ultimately it is up to you to take responsibility over your own health and well being.

Since this is our disclaimer after this point has been expressed we will not restrict our believe about the areas we speak on  and be sure to cite the scriptural passages that lead us to such a conclusion for veracity within our discussion. This broadcast is not intended to be prohibitive from non christian affirming parties but is intend to represent the value that God has placed on this sensitive subject. We will encourage you to seek help from local resources if you find that your issue is more than you can handle. There is nothing wrong with getting help.

The Specifics

The desire to do this presentation arose from a conversation I had with my wife about picture my wife's friend shared on Facebook that I thought was suggestive - not intentionally. I found that I had some latent anger about the disposition that my wife , women and the church had towards those men who has sexual proclivities. My rebuttal was how can you say you are for me and my success in every way but then turn around and  post pictures that reveal more than any man should see of you in this world. My wife's rebuttal was " If you don't like what you see then you shouldn't be on it...remove yourself. Plus your focus shouldn't be on that anyway." " You are right but how can you take a picture which is by definition meant to be looked at and tell me not look." 

She raised an issue about the reason why I did attend the same church anymore. After back and forth for a moment I said " Its very difficult to explain what men go through when they struggle in this area of sexual sins. Everything about the mans world is sexualized in some way shape form or fashion. It is a daily assualt on the sense of man.

Wherefore God also hath highly exalted him, and given him a name which is above every name: That at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of things in heaven, and things in earth, and things under the earth; And that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

Jesus is the lamb of God who taketh away the sins of the world. Jesus is the Lord

Processing the Moment Again

Reflection

Its interesting to me how often I have to think over what going on in front of me before I actually see it. Its called a revelation. I am listening to a broadcast of Transformation Church message called Happily Ever Before. He Highlights some things that helping me cope with where I am currently.

He asserts that God gave man 6 things before he gave me a person. In my case I am going to say performance because it has to with ministry.
1. Presence - The truth north barometer of my position.
2. Place - Where I am NOW.
3. Provision - There is resources for the place you are in.
4. Personality - Dealing the creating the God like character necessary to move forward.
5. Purpose - Deals with more how you are doing what you do , not what you do and where you do it.
6. Parameters - hearkens back to the space but more so the do/ dont do.
7. Finally we get the person or to perform.

The context of this word and combination of the word I have gotten from Pastor Curtain fits like a glove and as much I hate to admit my initial response is wrong. Its not time to leave, it maybe time to break , its definitely time to heal and definitely time to work.

So I will re write my process through the revelation of the word I received.

My past actions have reflected to me that I still have both some growing up and some healing to do. My past pains and experiences have gotten the better of me and it is causing me to see something that may or may not actually be there. I am a casual victim of church hurt. Like most cases when you get hurt as an adult there are things that you are engaging in that you shouldn't be engaging in or there is an oversight by someone else that negatively affects you. In the case of my hurt its both.

There were somethings for which I received correction that is keeping me here but there are other things that I have not come to wholeness in that is pushing me to leave. My desire not to move out of spite, out of God's timing and maintain a positive relationship is forcing me to look at what I honestly did not see. God will often permit circumstances to occur to reveal what is in the heart and I am not willing to see what I am seeing and do anything about it.

In wake of our conflict I have birthed what I believe are some very powerful ministry engagements to which I must commit to birthing fully and walking them out. Some of these engagements will involve Generation Church and some will not but which ever of these do or dont all will get my commitment of time, energy and effort. It is no secret that our time is nearing to an end. The more I grow the more I learn and as a result encounter growing/learning pains which can benefit us both, if we are able to be honest about where we are with each other and with ourselves.

In the past I have waited for validation of my ministry to step up. I am no longer in need of such validation but I do need to heal and come to complete wholeness. Heretofore I have not done what I believed I was called to do in part because of what I was brought into as an elder and other part this pain I am referring to. Either way this is the end of those reasons and that reasoning. I have received of the Lord direction which I intend to carry out. I need to be able to look into the parameter of this relationship to serve as not only protection but feedback and development.  If it comes to the point where the work I am engaging begins to conflict on any level with Generation Church we will need to visit the conversation of resignation.

I believe we have reached a level of maturity wherein we should be able to walk side by side doing what God called us to do, without compromising the vision of the church or my ministry. This what I am endeavoring to achieve with you. I must do and be fully I am called to be in the parameters (which still need work) of ministry and where the line is drawn I need to feel your support in the same way you have supported Charles or any of your other friends or ministry partners. This relationship has to be able to do this in order for me to continue to entertain it in its current state.

Its very possible that my hurt has matched up with your weakness. If this is the case then being privy to the trick of the enemy I lean on the scripture that says

" Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." - 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

Yet even more in prayer I say

 Behold, I was shapen in iniquity; and in sin did my mother conceive me. Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts: and in the hidden part thou shalt make me to know wisdom. Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.Make me to hear joy and gladness; that the bones which thou hast broken may rejoice. - Psalm 51:5-9

The enemies goal is to destroy our relationship and keep us both from growing and I wont let that happen. I am determined to maintain a positive relationship with you that will withstand the coming transition. I would hate to have that commitment alone but I dont mind doing that because I know this will honor purpose for which God has sent it.

Processing The Moment

Some time ago I received a church hurt from a ministry that I served in. The details of this hurt vary between a sheer lack of experience from both parties and wrong actions as well. The long and short of the story was that I was being treated like a hireling and I had more to offer. I learned a value lesson about why humility is God's way of introducing a new path of unity. I learned that it is important to forget that my loyalty does not lie with the ministry but the one who sent me and I can never forget to be the sure to please the person who put me there. However i did not process the pain of that moment up until a string of our recent conversations. Without knowing it I never actually healed. I just put a band aid on a wound which you just recently jammed your finger into.

My being triggered cannot be your responsibility, but I am not willing to move forward with addressing the hurt and the direction. I received clear instructions to begin to seed house of hope from the Lord and not only that but to do 100% of what God called me to do. To that end I need to be able do 100% of my ministry with you.

If our conversations are ONLY sparked by the things that benefit Generation Church but not me and that is not clear that is going to trigger me. When you are treated like a hireling you feel replaceable, cheap and only present for the person or groups convenience.  Again you dont need to take responsibility for this but I do want to give you a chance to help me heal so I can be prepared for where I am going in the very near future.

I thought the work God gave me would conflict with Generation Church but I am seeing that its not...at least not right now. But if it in fact it does began to impede the work I am actually doing then I will make the decision to split and begin the working solo dolo. I am not reduce my ministry and vision to fit inside of yours. I used to think that made sense...but now I am not sure it does. It would make sense if I  had never done ministry before....or if what I am doing has not been develop and or I have received no training but none of those realities are the case. If I cannot be ALL of what God called to me in the presence of this ministry, with out conflict I fear that this maybe the end of my tenure as assistant pastor and functioning elder of this ministry. There must be mutual benefit for both you and me.

I made a mistake in my naivety waiting for your validation by way of position, by validation of my peer by my eldership at COGIC or even my fathers validation. I will not take step back.

Now before I start this onslaught of ministry I do need to find wholeness in this area. I am not sure what that is going to look like...I haven't gotten that far. But working how I have been working under the condition I have been working in are going to have to change.

Farewell Or Is it!

Over the past few days I have been getting into what I am going to call skirmishes with Pastor Curtain. The small fight have been centering around what seems to be a lack of balance on my behalf. I made a very intense commitment to stay and learn and grow under Pastor Curtain and for the past 3 years that has been my truth. It has been fraught with challenges both with him and within me but I have fought the battle with a measure of success.

Our very last confrontation has been probably the toughest because I was trigger by series of statements by Pastor. At this moment I realize I didn't really heal from the my last scrape with a Pastor. As much as I would like to continue pressing on I think it need to sit down for a season and really reckon within myself how deep this scar from my previous levels of service have went.

I precieve that he is not going to just let me sit for 30 days because that may be true I might need to just step down altogether from my role as assistant pastor and as functioning elder to really fully assess where I am and how I want to move forward.

I do think there are some difference that He and I have that we can work through but I dont think that is going to be feasible because he has some insecurities are collaboration and support that are making extremely difficult to work through. And if the trigger is real then this weakness on top of pain and that can only end if a flame out.

I am choosing in this moment to take control of where I am and make the move the puts me in the best position heal and to return to service. I am thinking about taking a 30-day sabbatical where I will suspend my activity for Generation Church in order to give myself to prayer and consideration on if its time for my to move on and stay and deal.

I dont feel as if he had done me wrong per se. I do think he has not given me as much as I would like to be able to do what I am trying to do. But then I again I think I mis perceive what his role is as pastor and or as minister. If that is the case then I should stay and figure this out...If not then I think I am going to begin to seek another church home where i can just receive the attention that i feel I need.

Camp Hope

Urban Expo

A journey around northeast Ohio.

Tools : Contract Transport Services / Cleveland Food Bank 

People on list - Cuyahoga National Valley Park,  Cleveland Metro Parks  downtown Cleveland and West side Market.

Goal: To education urban youth on the history of Cleveland as whole through the exploration of city on city tour.

Activities: Sporting Events , Site seeing and interviewing various people job roles in the areas we working. (CNVP - Railroad conductor / Park Ranger) Westside market - Vendors